#TellItAllTuesday: Unveiling the Truth of Escaping Abuse, Seeking Justice, and Triumphing Amidst Challenges

#TellItAllTuesday: Unveiling the Truth of Escaping Abuse, Seeking Justice, and Triumphing Amidst Challenges

In my blog, I will share my incredible journey of breaking the cycle of addiction, taking on the kinship of my sister's twin babies, and advocating for their safety. The story begins with my efforts to raise awareness and organizing a charity event called "It Takes a Village" to support families in need during the holiday season.

Little did I know that the very next day, I would receive the surprising news of the premature birth of my sister's twins. Despite not being informed about their birth initially, I rushed to see them, only to face judgment and mistreatment from some nurses due to my sister's homelessness and personal struggles. Determined to protect the babies, I contacted Children's Aid and expressed my concerns about their well-being.

Unfortunately, the response from the assigned children's aid worker was subpar, and promises made about the children temporarily staying with me were not fulfilled. Meanwhile, I discovered that my sister had syphilis, which raised further concerns about the twins' safety. Although the babies showed minimal signs of withdrawal from carfentanil, they remained in the hospital for treatment until January 1.

Throughout this challenging journey, I became the sole advocate for the babies, navigating the system and ensuring their well-being. Despite reporting my spouse for threatening my life, I still don't have custody of the children, and the kinship case has been closed. The struggle continues as I face obstacles in the legal process.

Amidst the turmoil, I managed to arrange treatment for my sister's sepsis and syphilis through Victim Services, with plans for her to receive a year of treatment in British Columbia. It is crucial to note that she is a victim of human trafficking from Sarnia, Ontario, which has affected her within the drug world and the local police force.

Additionally, I encountered challenges with the children's health cards, which still do not work properly. However, I have found solace in a supportive children's aid worker who has been actively helping me, providing resources, and acknowledging my efforts to break systemic cycles and overcome personal struggles. The babies' health care had still never been explained to me until I recently took a step further and contacted one of their specialists in London who was happy to explain everything without stigmatizing myself first as an uneducated individual from the underbelly of Sarnia.

The arrival of the twins ultimately saved my life, as it exposed the true nature of my abusive partner. Despite his claims that our separation is due to the babies, professionals have recognized the deeper underlying issues in our relationship. Through therapeutic sessions, I have come to realize his cyclical predatory behaviour, which has led me to prioritize my own well-being and contemplate a new path for my future.

In this blog, I will leave no detail untold as I share my story of resilience, triumph over adversity, and the pursuit of a better life for myself and the twins. Stay tuned for upcoming posts where I delve deeper into the challenges faced, the lessons learned, and the hope that fuels my journey. #TellItAllTuesday

Unveiling the Truth: Escaping Abuse and Seeking Justice

Continuing from my previous blog, I delve deeper into the disturbing revelations about my partner's escalating abusive behaviour. After the two-month mark, during which we were supposed to have custody of the children, his abuse intensified. I discovered numerous messages he exchanged with other women, and some even reached out to me, expressing discomfort and concern about his behaviour. He went as far as pretending to be me and sharing fabricated stories, unable to maintain his deceptive façade due to his narcissistic personality disorder and ADHD.

Unbeknownst to me, he had maintained a lingering connection with a friend for a decade, someone he claimed to have no romantic interest in. Unfortunately, this individual is aiding him now, unaware of the extent of the damage he has caused and will now be involved in legal proceedings. He has already fled from Sarnia due to the impending exposure of his actions that I have started to unpack in therapy sessions.

My mission has always been to protect the children. However, as his own children reached adulthood, I realized the truth must be revealed to them. I now question the wisdom of waiting for them to be older, as I now bear the brunt of the backlash from a narcissistic father who has no relationship with his children and doesn't even know them personally. He didn't even attend their graduation. Moreover, he lost his job in the previous city due to sexual assault allegations, and I have a list of women, including my friends, who are willing to come forward with their own experiences.

For those wondering why I didn't simply leave him earlier, the answer lies in the tragic timing. Every time I attempted to leave, someone close to me would pass away, burdening me with grief and preventing my departure. In 2020, after my mother's sudden death, I was still walking around with a broken leg, which he dismissed as insignificant. One fateful night, I woke up on the couch to witness my friend and my partner engaging in sexual activity beside me. Such behaviour had become so normalized that I simply rolled over and went back to sleep. The following day, both of them individually borrowed $1000 from me, just after I had taken care of my mother's needs singlehandedly while being physically impaired. This story is beginning to unravel as premeditated behaviour as I inherited my parents' lifetime savings and invested it in hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of items that he had secretly siphoned out of our home, while I was sleeping, over the past few months, to a secret location.

After the above incident, confined to the couch right before the pandemic hit, I reached out to my very close friends because I was feeling suicidal from the lack of communication either of them would give me about that night. These friends said they could not help me in my disabled state, so I propped my leg up on a walker and wheeled myself to Bluewater Health, and admitted myself for observation. I stayed one night before the psychiatrist on call discharged me saying there was nothing wrong with me; it was my abusive partner  

This is the kind of man I have been dealing with—a man who refuses to let me leave our home and believes I am entitled to nothing, has total control of our surveillance in our home, and watches me on the cameras while he is not living here. These stories are just the tip of the iceberg, and I am determined to share them until he releases me and provides me with what I am legally entitled to. It is crucial to address this issue before it escalates further and becomes a more significant investigation. My intention was to have a normal separation and foolishly thought I could still include him with my family on the holidays, just two weeks ago, until I had many more flashbacks of abuse and the realization that's what it actually was. Not to mention the stark realization of the severity of my normal. It was finally after an explosive episode the night my grandmother passed away, after the above story, that I finally decided to quietly start working toward a two-year safety plan set with boundaries, unaware of the extent of abuse I have been enduring. It has taken extensive therapy and education to bring myself out of denial of my reality these past ten years. My grandmother died suddenly on my birthday.

Through my blog, I aim to shed light on the truth, expose the abuse, and seek justice. By sharing my experiences, I hope to empower others who may be trapped in similar situations and inspire them to break free from the cycle of abuse. Stay tuned for more revelations and updates as I navigate this difficult journey towards freedom and a brighter future. #TellItAllTuesday

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