Unveiling the Reality of Abuse: My Journey to Finding Strength

Unveiling the Reality of Abuse: My Journey to Finding Strength

In this blog post, I want to share my personal journey of resilience and self-discovery. It's a story that sheds light on the harsh reality of abuse, emphasizing the importance of support systems and resources in our communities. My experiences have taught me valuable lessons about addiction, manipulation, and the power of finding my voice. Join me as I recount my struggles and triumphs, with a focus on raising awareness about domestic abuse, advocating for change, and addressing the issue of corruption within the Sarnia Police system.

Now, I find myself in the same predicament once again. His work bag is locked outside the door, and even though the house is in his name, I have to make the difficult decision of asking the person I have been supporting and caring for, who has been mentally unwell due to trauma, to leave. It's a heartbreaking choice to make, but it is necessary for the well-being and safety of myself and my children. Despite my efforts to keep him alive and provide support, his behaviour and actions are causing harm and instability in our lives. I have exhausted all other options, and pressing criminal charges may be the only way to protect ourselves and ensure that he gets the necessary help and intervention. Additionally, I have hired a film professional to organize 10 years of my video journals. These journals serve as a reminder of the experiences we have been through together, including the challenges stemming from his mental health struggles. It is important for me to have a record of these moments, both for my own understanding and for any potential legal proceedings.

Unveiling the Red Flags:

After enduring years of abuse, my partner's ability to evade consequences due to the lack of resources within the Sarnia Police Station serves as a shocking revelation. Not once, but twice, I have attempted to report the abuse, only to have him escape punishment. This alarming situation highlights the corruption within the Sarnia Police system, which I aim to bring awareness to as part of my journey. While he may think he's getting away with it, little does he realize that by publicly sharing my story, he is now likely to become an example, shedding light on the consequences of his actions and serving as an intervention for his addictions.

Living in a Distorted Reality:

As I detach myself emotionally, my partner indulges in a life of luxury, seemingly unaffected by his abusive actions. He remains confined to his bed when he is home when he isn't eating my meals, obsessively collecting pictures of women, while I struggle to scrounge up money for our basic needs, or shopping and hoarding his treasures in an undisclosed location with all of our valuables that my parent's estates help pay for. His fixation on these women, including his female healthcare professionals and a list of my friends, presents a disturbing reality. Additionally, I discover that he consistently lies about his age on dating apps, claiming to be younger than he truly is. These behaviours further illustrate the extent of his deception, manipulation and illness. He seems completely unaware and unbothered by his actions and the detriment he has caused.

Deception and Betrayal:

Throughout our relationship, my partner has hidden his true nature from me. I have never met any of his friends because he doesn't have any, except one woman who has equally struggled with these types of men in her life, relying on him for advice. They also dated before me. The only other friend is a childhood friend who shares similar mental struggles and they do not have a consistent friendship. It becomes evident that they both carry shared childhood trauma, which complicates our situation. Furthermore, I learned about his abusive and sexually unwell past from his ex-wife, who confided in me about his true character. This revelation exposes the depth of his deceit and highlights the importance of recognizing the red flags that I had previously overlooked.

A Wake-Up Call:

Meeting his ex-wife becomes a pivotal moment in my journey. Contrary to my partner's portrayal, she reveals the truth about his abusive behaviour and his sexual issues during their marriage. His manipulation extends to creating a false image of their relationship, leading me to believe they had a healthy bond. This revelation shatters the illusion and exposes his true character. I realize that the abuse I have endured has been present since the early days of our relationship.

Finding Strength and Speaking Out:

My journey empowers me to seek education and understanding about human rights, unveiling the injustices I have faced throughout my life. However, the lack of resources within our community hinders my ability to find the support I need. This realization fuels my determination to speak out, not only for myself but for others who may lack financial stability or a strong support system. By publicly sharing my story, I hope to bring attention to the consequences of abuse, serving as an intervention for addictions and creating a safer environment for others.


My story serves as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit in the face of abuse. It sheds light on the need for resources, support, and awareness surrounding domestic abuse, while also highlighting the issue of corruption within the Sarnia Police system. Together, let's work towards creating communities where victims are heard, abusers are held accountable, and no one suffers in silence. By speaking out, we can make a difference and create a brighter future for all.


Please sign this petition to update the rights of common-law partnerships in 2023 here.

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