In the depths of therapy for domestic violence, I am now coming to a startling realization: I have been a victim of human trafficking in the last 10 years, and I didn't even recognize it. As a 42-year-old woman, it is disheartening to admit that I didn't fully understand the concept of consent until now. This newfound awareness has prompted me to share my story, as it serves as a stark reminder of the importance of education and raising awareness about the realities of human trafficking. Through this blog, I hope to shed light on the hidden complexities of these experiences and advocate for a world where consent is fully understood and respected by all.
When I first started dating my partner, I knew that he had these kinky sides to him. After going through all of my text messages, I can see how much I always ignored it, thinking that it would just go away. Being an addict in recovery, I believed I could be empathetic towards people's addictions, and I trusted him. I never explored his phone or computers; I just trusted him because he had a good job, much like my father. Looking back now, it disgusts me to read the messages he would send me, always filled with sexual innuendos and inquiries about my friends. With the knowledge I have now, I understand what he was truly doing while asking me those questions. But that's not the least of it. On our first trip together, a lavish visit to Niagara Falls, I bought lingerie for the occasion thinking it was a special weekend. However, he ruined the trip by confessing at the dinner table that he had put an ad on Craigslist, seeking another couple to swing with, without my knowledge. He had already been conversing with a couple who had replied. Appalled, I immediately denied the activity, but he became upset with me and gave me the silent treatment throughout the entire dinner. Little did I know that this incident was just the tip of the iceberg. It marked the beginning of a pattern where he systematically manipulated and coerced me into participating in situations I vehemently did not want to be a part of. Each time I said no, my ability to assert myself diminished as he beat me down emotionally, making me feel worthless and believing that I had to do these things to make him happy. I still have that lingerie hanging in my closet with the tags on it today, ten years later. This is the beginning of our story.
My sister endured a horrifying ordeal when she was taken from the Golden Mile motels in Sarnia, Ontario and trafficked to Windsor for a staggering 18 days. Thankfully, she managed to escape and was eventually picked up on the side of the road, making her way back to Sarnia. However, her journey towards recovery took a concerning turn when she met an individual whom she believed had saved her life. Unfortunately, further investigation has revealed disturbing allegations against this man, including indecent sexual acts, particularly involving minors. Disturbingly, he subjected my sister to confinement within their apartment, equipped with cameras that invaded her privacy. As a result of this entire ordeal, my sister's physical and mental well-being has been irreversibly affected. She now grapples with the impact of syphilis and experiences significant cognitive impairments. Her disability has transformed her into a completely different person, altering her identity beyond the confines of her previous struggles with drug addiction. Tragically, her partner, who was the father of her children, succumbed to an overdose when their infants were merely eight weeks old. This devastating loss further solidified the critical necessity for me to assume kinship and ensure the well-being of these children from the moment they entered this world.
Our starkly different lives and circumstances would seem to separate my sister and me from ever becoming victims of human trafficking. Yet, the painful truth is that we both fell prey to this heinous crime. It is a sobering realization that transcends societal assumptions and defies stereotypes. Human trafficking, particularly sex trafficking and exploitation, can infiltrate any community and affect individuals from various backgrounds. It is crucial to understand that trafficking extends beyond the commonly held notions, and its impact can be devastating for survivors. In this blog, I aim to shed light on the true nature of trafficking, educating others about its realities and dispelling misconceptions.
Sex trafficking is a grave issue that affects countless individuals worldwide. It's crucial to broaden our understanding of this crime beyond the common misconceptions. By recognizing the lesser-known signs of exploitation, we can better identify and combat sex trafficking. This article aims to shed light on these signs and raise awareness in our community.
1. Common Misconceptions:
Sex trafficking is often associated with strangers being abducted or incidents occurring in specific locations. However, it's important to understand that sex trafficking can happen within regular relationships or even one-night stands. By dispelling these misconceptions, we can better protect ourselves and others.
2. Coercion and Manipulation:
Perpetrators of sex trafficking employ various manipulation tactics to coerce their victims into engaging in sexual activities. Emotional manipulation, threats, intimidation, and blackmail are some of the methods used to exert control. By recognizing these signs, individuals can better identify when someone is being manipulated or coerced.
3. Financial Exploitation:
Exploiting financial vulnerabilities or needs is another tactic used by traffickers. Victims may be enticed with promises of monetary gain, expensive gifts, or other material benefits in exchange for engaging in sexual acts. Understanding the dynamics of financial exploitation helps us identify instances of sex trafficking.
4. Isolation and Control:
Victims of sex trafficking are often isolated from their support networks. Traffickers exert control over their daily activities, restricting their freedom and ability to seek help. Recognizing signs of isolation and control can help us identify those who may be trapped in exploitative situations.
5. Forced Substance Abuse:
Traffickers may use drugs or alcohol to control and manipulate their victims. By exploiting pre-existing substance abuse issues or forcibly introducing substances, they make victims more susceptible to exploitation. Identifying patterns of forced substance abuse is crucial in identifying potential victims of sex trafficking.
6. Deception and False Promises:
Deception plays a significant role in sex trafficking. Traffickers lure victims into exploitative situations through false promises of love, employment, or a better life. Raising awareness about these deceptive tactics helps individuals become more vigilant and recognize when someone may be at risk.
7. Threats and Violence:
Traffickers employ threats and violence as means of control and punishment. Victims may endure physical or sexual violence, and their traffickers may also threaten harm to themselves or their loved ones. Recognizing signs of threats and violence is essential in identifying victims and intervening to protect them.
Understanding the lesser-known signs of exploitation in sex trafficking is crucial for effectively combating this heinous crime. By dispelling misconceptions and being aware of coercion, financial exploitation, isolation, forced substance abuse, deception, threats, and violence, we can become better equipped to identify potential victims and support survivors. Let's educate ourselves, raise awareness, and work together to eradicate sex trafficking and ensure a safer future for all.
Remember, if you suspect someone may be a victim of sex trafficking, report it to the appropriate authorities or reach out to organizations specializing in human trafficking for assistance.
Sarnia Sexual Assault Survivors Centre has been a phenomenal support for me so far on this part of my journey. If you or anyone you know is experiencing sexual abuse, please reach out to them. Sometimes all you need is the validation to empower your strength within. Don’t forget to advocate for yourself and the people you love. We are in this together. - Thank you Hunter.